People come to relationship coaching for a host of different reasons. While the one thing they have in common is a relationship problem, the underlying cause and solution is as unique as the individual.
As a relationship coach, I’ve noticed that some issues come up frequently. In this article, I’ll be looking at some of the most common problems which relationship coaching can help solve.
Loneliness
Many people come to relationship coaching because of loneliness. It’s an increasingly common problem these days, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
You might be unable or unwilling to commit, or perhaps you’re haunted by hurtful experiences in the past.
My clients are not necessarily single. Some are in long-term relationships, living with unhappiness every day, unable to express themselves.
Other coaching clients have reached the last straw with short-lived flings. If you’ve given up on the whole process, you’re not alone. Many people feel they’ll never find the right person. You may be confused about who the `right person’ even is.
If you’re in this situation, relationship coaching can help relieve those feelings of loneliness. As a coach, I work through the root of the problem with you and we find ways to overcome the obstacles.
The process helps you to:
Identify the person you’re looking for — someone who likes and respects the authentic `warts and all’ you.
Build confidence. You can become more comfortable in your own skin.
Set healthy boundaries, because you don’t have to put up with bad behaviour from anyone.
A stalling career
Feelings of isolation are not limited to personal relationships. They can bleed over into professional relationships too.
At work, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by stress, unable to focus on relationship-building because you’re so focused on getting the job done. Poor working relationships can leave you feeling misunderstood — and ultimately, they can harm your career.
Here are some of the most common professional relationship issues:
It’s difficult to get buy-in. You come up with great ideas but people don’t listen to them.
You’ve received poor feedback recently, or you’re in danger of losing your job.
You’re in conflict with someone at work.
You’re uncertain about your leadership skills and unable to get the best out of your team, so you aren’t meeting your goals.
You just don’t feel part of the team.
With relationship coaching, you can be completely honest — often tricky when you’re struggling at work — and it’s a chance to untangle the root cause of the problem.
It could be limiting beliefs that are holding you back, or an unhelpful behavioural habit that you find hard to break. Quite often, it’s down to communication
And this brings me to the next reason why people come to a relationship coach...
Communication problems
Good communication lies at the heart of any relationship — professional or personal. But what do we mean by `good communication’?
It’s about listening, as well as expressing yourself. Good communication is an equal exchange of ideas, thoughts, opinions and knowledge. On both sides, the message has to be clearly received and understood so that each person feels heard.
Some people are excellent communicators — but it’s more difficult than it looks. For many of us, good communication is a skill which has to be learned.
Relationship coaching can be hugely helpful when it comes to engaging with others. It gives you tools to communicate with honesty and empathy.
Conflict resolution
To a certain extent, conflict is a part of life. Few of us can sail through without coming up against it at some point.
If we’re lucky, the conflict is resolved quickly with no harm done. After all, it’s OK to disagree.
However, it isn’t always that easy. Family conflicts, in particular, can rumble on for years, decades or even a lifetime.
Relationship coaching can help you resolve ongoing conflict — either by bringing the relationship back into balance or, if necessary, by building the resilience and self-confidence to walk away.
In essence, coaching helps you develop a deeper knowledge of yourself. Over time, you’ll find that your own conflict resolution skills become more finely tuned.
It becomes easier to manage disputes calmly, and even spot potential skirmishes ahead of time. You can head off conflict before it escalates — a valuable skill in both professional and personal relationships
Social confidence
As humans, our connection to others helps us thrive. Strong relationships provide us with support, comfort and a sense of self-esteem. They bring happiness. They keep us mentally and physically healthy.
Some lucky people are born with social confidence. The rest of us need a bit of help.
Many of my clients say they want more social confidence. They want to know how to get themselves out there. They want to meet and befriend people who they can build a real connection with.
A relationship coach helps you to focus on the changes you need to make now to build supportive, genuine relationships for the long term.
It’s not a quick fix. You must be willing to make changes, and ready to face some tough questions which you may prefer not to answer. However, you’ll be encouraged and supported every step of the way and most importantly, you won’t be on your own.
These are just some of the problems that relationship coaching can help solve. If you would like the chance to talk about your own issue in a safe, confidential space then please get in touch.